Welcome again girls and boys. As all the time, J Dickens right here to comb you off your toes. In the present day’s subject is Formula 1, also called the Rolex of sports activities. Extra particularly although, I’m going to be taking you thru the drivers who put their lives on the road in pursuit of glory. We could?

Louis Hamilton

The cream to the pie. The champion of champions. The Father of Max Verstappen. The son of a loving father who labored 16 jobs to assist fund his karting profession. The CEO of Mercedes. His identify etched within the dictionary underneath the phrase ‘Zeus’. A person, nay, an immortal, with the main focus and dedication of a polar bear throughout mating season. Not afraid to stay his elbows out. Louis instructions respect and when it’s not given, wins one other Championship. The grandpa that might. The Lebron of Formula. The Tom Brady of 1. Lots sticious. Rocked a fortunate pair of lingerie till he was 18 and his mother shrunk them within the wash. Knighted by the royalty that his homeland is thought for.

George Russell

Mr. Saturday. Mr. How The Fuck Is He Doing That In A Williams? Mr. I Put Rogaine On My Face And Nonetheless Can’t Develop A Beard. The younger gun employed by F1’s German powerhouse. Hailing from the Kingdom that was United. A jester to nobody. Appeared down on by nobody. Tall. Has the consistency of the dawn and the blossombility of a prepubescent rose. Believes he was a rocket in one other life. Didn’t have any hobbies till he began to play golf not too way back. Is unhealthy at golf.

Max Verstappen

From the land of clogs. Hit the Formula 1 stage because the youngest competitor ever at simply 17 years of age. Crashed so much. Crashed some extra. Prompted F1 to vary the minimal age restrict. Drove on an F1 circuit earlier than driving on the general public streets. The reigning champ. A lion with the face of a child. Fueled by glory. Doubted by his early immaturity and DNFs. Some say he received an F1 race earlier than he sprouted a single pube. Some say they have been simply laborious to see due to his blonde heritage. Proving all of the doubters mistaken he turned the primary dutchman to win a F1 Championship. Likes his seatbelt unfastened whereas racing. Cooler than a yeti’s toes whereas making ready for a race as he’s identified to take action by taking part in FIFA or COD.

Sergio Perez

A luchador that you do not need to get within the ring with. A consistency carousel. Whereas most drivers have 8 gears, Checko has 16, his race tempo depends upon which he decides to make use of that weekend. The nickname ‘Checko’ comes from being named Sergio. That’s it. He’ll slice you up like a rattling crème brûlée. Carries the spice of a jalapeño by way of every nook. If a popper is what you’re after, Checko will not be your man. His potential simply now beginning to take form as he was restricted by his previous groups earlier than becoming a member of Red Bull. The Guadalajara Murderer. The quantity two to the reigning primary. An avid golfer. Joined the WallStreetBets subreddit and has been buying and selling ever since. Can be a Lawyer if he wasn’t racing. Packs solely his cellphone, pockets and passport when touring. Further lingerie? Doesn’t want them.

Charles Leclerc

Pronounced ‘sharl’. Took his first steps on flip 3 of the Monaco Grand Prix. Not the buddy sort. Not dependable sufficient apparently. Guess he isn’t mates along with his race-car. Oops. Roasted? Increase? Ferraris ticket to not being laughed at on the grid anymore. As cool, calm, and picked up as Michael Scott on a gross sales pitch. As smug as a deflated balloon. Loves style and sketches designs when touring. His favourite film is ‘The Satan Wears Prada’. Performs piano and guitar and loves making music. Has his eyes set on mastering the artwork of sax subsequent.

Carlos Sainz

Grew up taming bulls on the streets of Madrid. Whereas most dabbled with red sheets to lure the bulls, he painted his physique. After conquering cattle, he graduated to stallions. But a bull by no means forgets, and it’s confirmed each race day as they chase his red Ferrari. At the least till he has engine points. A comic off the monitor whereas crafty and instinctive on it. Clawing his method out from beneath his fathers monumental driving pedigree. Had an image of Fernando Alonso on his bed room wall rising up. Bought his first style of the oh so coveted golden bathe final race. Was the Spanish champion of squash at 16. When he’s feeling naughty he indulges in ole cheeseburger.

Daniel Ricciardo

The sexiest driver on the grid 25 years working. Has 11 seasons underneath his belt. A ball of goof. Has by no means been caught on digital camera with out a smile. When others use shovels to dig holes, he makes use of his schnoz. The President of late breaking. The true life illustration of unhealthy luck. The inventor of the Shoey. Has by no means drank out of a cup in his life, he prefers worn footwear as an alternative. Max Verstappen’s second father. Constructed a shrine for his favourite get together shirts he’s worn through the years. In all probability slept with each feminine in your loved ones. Has by no means considered a prank that he deemed too large. Loves the Buffalo Payments. A breaker of tables. Rowdier than Piper. The notorious, the infamous, Honey Badger.

Lando Norris

From the land of THE Royal Household. Suffers from PTSD which is introduced on by any point out of rain. Goals that he may return and pit two laps earlier. A full of life jokester. The rabble to Ricciardo’s rouser. A rising star to observe. HamiltonLover6969@AOL.com was his first e-mail handle. Carries a suave appeal in all places he goes. Dreamed of using crotch rockets when he was younger. Has confirmed his race craft. Aspires to in the future be tall sufficient to trip a rollercoaster. Perfected his skills racing on simulators rising up.

Valtteri Bottas

Spent the primary 14 years of his life in a sauna. A Finnish who finishes. Solid from ice. Refined by the snowy roads of his hometown. Ice Highway Truckers is his favourite present. A grasp of reserved emotion. Generally mistaken for a brick wall. As soon as a Mercedes follow dummy. A brilliant mild trapped by a lamp shade. Drinks his espresso like an area gap, black. The best wingman of all time and worthy of standing beside any bro. Upon becoming a member of Alfa Romeo he had customized made Mercedes bathroom paper made. The originator of silent swagger. A navy man. Reached the rank of Corporal and was voted ‘Prime Soldier’ by his group. Drove to high school on a snowmobile when he was 12. Likes to skeet, lives to skeet. Defines a scorching tub as a frozen lake.

Zhou Guanyu

The primary timer. The unpopped cherry. The Shanghai Knight. Made historical past as China’s cardinal F1 driver. Zhou is his household identify not his first identify. Was 5 years outdated in 2004. Carries the load of China on his conditioned shoulders. A closed e book. Has bones product of adamantium. A survivor.

Fernando Alonso

Seńor Conquistador. Raced his first Grand Prix the identical 12 months Yuki Tsunoda was born. Charges himself a 9/10 in all driving classes. Extra tactical than a Navy Seal. Extra surgical than Dr. Unusual. An honorary member of Actual Madrid C.F. When discovering that there’s a museum devoted solely to him, he believed it to be too small. A dimension issues purist. Has solely been outscored by a teammate as soon as in his profession. Received the Le Mans 24 Hours. Believes a driver can nonetheless be in his prime at 100 years outdated.

Esteban Ocon

Rooted from the isles of striped shirts and berets. Lived life on the highway in a caravan through the starting phases of his racing journey. Laughs at obstacles. Overcomes adversities. Had the humblest of beginnings. Believes in his personal capability above all else. Often mistaken for the stick in ‘A Bugs Life’. Drinks protein shakes in hope of with the ability to be seen behind a pencil in the future. Girls’s denims are the one denims that can correctly match his daddy lengthy legs.

Pierre Gasly

Ratatouille was filmed in his hometown. His veins run with venom. No stranger to sensible drives. Extra gifted than a spoiled youngster when Saint Nick comes round. Underrated. From the loins of a distinguished kart racer. Strikes hardest when others doubt most. Carries a heavy burden of the family members he has misplaced. The hair of a boy band lead singer and the smile to again it up. The youngest trying man with a beard on the planet. Sleeps in a racing seat through the offseason.

Yuki Tsunoda

Who Godzilla was impressed by. In pursuit of changing into the primary Japanese F1 Champion. Hit the racing scene like a child in an influence instruments retailer having zero information of any circuits. A double dicker if I ever did see one. Has but to unpack his belongings since transferring to Europe… Months and months in the past. A lover of unhealthy meals. The best human to seize a beer with. A menace when the lights go inexperienced. Struggles to steadiness aggression and restraint.

Mick Schumacher

The son of the inevitable. A dimension 12 foot attempting to fill the footwear of a dimension 100 shoe. Was not given his drive, it was properly earned. Used a tire as a pillow rising up. Exhausting compound, bitch. A entrepreneurs moist dream. A thoroughbred. The bearer of an unprecedented quantity of strain. Virtually didn’t begin racing as his father did every thing to discourage the damaging sport. Performs chess to maintain his thoughts in form earlier than races. Began his profession as Mick Betsch to keep away from consideration, it didn’t work. Enjoys taking part in soccer in his free time. Takes after his father and is a big adrenaline junky off the monitor. Makes use of the lake as his getaway.

Kevin Magnussen

Mr. Sure That Is My Magnum. From a lineage of vikings. A straight shooter firing on the fee of his gun, and his gun solely. The late addition. Haas’ lifeline, their stick of dynamite. Slices by way of site visitors like a butcher making ready his meat. Proof against crying whereas dicing onions. A one man unhealthy boy band. Not afraid to recommend {that a} man “suck his balls”. Celebrates his accomplishments with Indian meals. Cockier than the Dickens.

Sebastian Vettel

Pure legend. Collects backyard gnomes. Speaks his thoughts it doesn’t matter what others might imagine. Received again to again Championships earlier than he was 26. His band of selection for karaoke is the Beatles. Was given a guitar by Paul McCartney. A staple of Red Bull’s early success. Let down by the engineering of Ferrari. Now an Aston boy. Infiniti named a automobile after him. Names his vehicles after women. A wizard with a shuttle cock in hand. Hates waking up early. Enraged by the sound of squeaky footwear.

Lance Stroll

Mr. The Fund. Mr. Monopoly’s Child. Canada’s illegitimate offspring. Signed an F1 contract earlier than he graduated high-school. Accustomed to champagne. Not from profitable, however from his wealthy upbringing. Has bother sharing. Determining if his girlfriend is courting him due to his household’s cash or as a result of he’s an F1 driver. Cried whereas watching ‘The Pianist’. Doesn’t really feel like himself when carrying a poorly knitted pair of underwear.

Alex Albon

Thought rain on a regular basis was the norm till he was 20. His first phrase was Ferrari. Shares his mattress with a LPGA star. Turned to a piano as consolation through the pandemic. Warms his palms up earlier than races by constructing IKEA furnishings. Thinks that he may take Gordon Ramsey 1v1 on a skillet. The one bread he eats is banana based mostly. His primary request in life is to in the future have a remote-control tissue field. Developed power allergic reactions after sitting in a Williams for therefore lengthy.

Nicholas Latifi

Bodily unable to not begin or finish a sentence with out saying “eh”. A late bloomer. A busy beaver within the extracurricular actions division. Not a multi-sport athlete. An each sport athlete. A fan of leather-based jackets. Makes use of Nutella as tub water. Not on the identical attractiveness degree as his girlfriend. Grew to become an F1 driver to spice up his attractiveness degree by 2 factors, 3 on Sundays. Drives the worst automobile on the grid and it isn’t even shut. No matter you’re pondering, go additional. Then go some extra. Welcome to Williams.